thanks to both of you for all the information, I appreciate it more than I can say!
things have not worked out well for me unfortunately. i have nor had decently working internet on the computer since I last commented.
I tried changing my DNS but could not seem to get rid of the ISP DNS. any changes I made would not take effect on rebooting or any other way.
I factory reset the modem and still nothing.
I’m not using a router right now and was not able to do anything with the modem beyond power cycling and the factory reset. I tried reconnecting my obselete router but couldn’t login into it, I think it might have stopped working too.
I was able to USB tether my phone for internet, which helped me research more easily for awhile. the phone service company, Verizon, uses throttling deprioritization for lower class customers after their data caps are met, which drops the speed of the connection to 600kbps (they say, much lower in reality) and is just as useless as the internet in my initial problem. I found other articles likely related. I may add them if I can before the post gets auto-closed. not easy to share from PC to phone, not with my circumstances and this budget phone at least.
I did re-learn that the Realtek Ethernet device is buggy, as was mentioned. (I can’t see who said it while replying on my phone) and looking into it more, I found a 2 year old Reddit thread with people having the same problems, with the same equipment, in a windows environment and it was still getting comments as of last week. my current working theory is that the ethernet NIC is junk and i need to return my motherboard.
oddly enough I was able to log on to with windows again, something I haven’t been able to do inover a month. I read that occasionally, logging into windows and updating the driver there is sometimes a fix but not in my case. despite the specs of my PC, windows was slow and too painful to to use for anything, even moreso than it usually is. it took a minute and a half to open the task manager with ctrl+shift+escape because of all the background stuff happening for updates and telemetry or whatever.
i blacklisted r8169 and installed r8168 again, undid that, tried the reverse, undid that. wandered around the systemd labyrinth pointlessly to see if anything looked wrong, tried reinstalling all network related things I could, created a new user and tested with that, took an SSD from another (older) system with manjaro on it and ran it in CSM mode and still no connection nothing.
I’ve messed with so many settings at this point, I doubt anything can be fixed because of some setting I’d changed and forgot to revert.
I’m going to try one more thing and see if I can connect from from a live USB. if that doesn’t help I’ll reinstall manjaro. next option is to RMA the board.
thanks again for taking a look and all the tips and suggestions!