A picture is worth a thousand words as they say so have a screenshot instead of words:
pamac is gtk4 (and libadwaita)
Use a theme that works on that …
Or use pamac-gtk3 which will work with regular old gtk3 themes.
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Lets see your packages…
pacman -Qs adw
Oh and maybe check gtk4:
cat ~/.config/gtk-4.0/settings.ini
Alright, typed it exactly as you wrote, here’s the output from a fresh terminal:
local/adwaita-cursors 44.0-1
GNOME standard cursors
local/adwaita-icon-theme 44.0-1
GNOME standard icons
local/libadwaita 1:1.4.0-1
Building blocks for modern adaptive GNOME applications
I’ll point out this is an XFCE minimal install, I did install some KDE apps a while back when I first installed the system to see if anything would break but at the time I did they did not effect the package manager in any way. This occurred after a recent update, I forget which but at the time it 1st occured I just assumed it was a typo somewhere in the package manager that would be fixed in an upcoming update, been a couple of updates since and still facing this issue.
Looks like you dont have any adwaita theme actually installed.
Namely:
extra/adw-gtk-theme 1.1-1
LibAdwaita Theme for all GTK3 and GTK4 Apps
extra/adw-gtk3 4.9-1
The theme from libadwaita ported to GTK-3
Yup. Which managed to become GTK3 a few years ago. But dont expect it to follow Gnome quickly … whereas the new pamac has done just that.
As already mentioned … a while back pamac became gtk4 and the original was moved to pamac-gtk3.
never mind the adwaita issue, no such config file, or even folder for that matter
I didnt really think there would be … because you are on XFCE … which has no way to manage gtk4.
But you might be able to make some configuration adjustments in regards to gtk4 by manually using that directory/file.
Example from mine:
[Settings]
gtk-application-prefer-dark-theme=true
gtk-cursor-theme-name=Colloid-cscs
gtk-cursor-theme-size=30
gtk-decoration-layout=icon:minimize,maximize,close
gtk-enable-animations=false
gtk-font-name=Noto Sans, 10
gtk-icon-theme-name=Papirus-Dark-Maia
gtk-primary-button-warps-slider=false
gtk-xft-dpi=147456
…or … you know … stick to gtk3 apps, like pamac-gtk3 
I’m trying the settings method, as for the pamac-gtk3, it was manjaro that installed it, I did not explicitly install the package manager, I used it as is when it was installed with the system and trusted the config for XFCE to be pre-set to whatever was needed for the package manager to follow the theme, I now see that was a mistake.
Edit: Is it safe to delete any of the settings before trying it? The ones I’m thinking of deleting are:
gtk-cursor-theme-size=30
gtk-primary-button-warps-slider=false
gtk-xft-dpi=147456
Welp the settings thing didn’t work out, gonna see if I can get that gtk3 one installed instead
Edit: Yep, installing the gtk3 one worked, my eyes sincerely thank you 
An alternative solution to use with the gtk4 version
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