Well whadayaknow!
The good news: running sudo mkswap nvme1n1p3 fixed it, all else remains the same except I put the new UUID that mkswap showed into fstab.
The bad news: we can no longer debug why the previous swap partition wasn’t working.
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Aaaand, ironically this happened to me for the first time:
That’s both memory and swap filled, and the system gone unresponsive for like 5 minutes until the OS managed to kill an app.
The end. 
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