So I have done back to back testing, both benchmarking and real world tests, and have found something.
I’m not sure what the difference is, because I’m not by any means a super hacker, but out of all the distros I’ve tested:
Kubuntu
Ubuntu
ZorinOS
Manjaro
EndeavourOS
Linux Mint
Fedora
FerenOS
(and a few others lost in the mix…OpenSuse? Been a week)
FerenOS does not seem to be affected by the issue. I have no idea what the difference is considering it is a Ubuntu spinoff. Perhaps someone else can compare the internals and configs?
Both rsync and drag&drop via file managers work fine, and at proper speeds. 
The EXACT SAME folder transfer test hits on average 41 MB/s (113GB transferred to USB 3.0 flash, the same secondary test I’ve devised to test and used over and over at this point…) and completes on par with windows in about 46 minutes running this test. A bit slower by a few minutes, but close. No drops to <4MB/s with hours and hours remaining which occurs on all other distros I’ve tested. I’ve used LiveISO’s, and haven’t changed anything other than the udev rules. Both with and without it, it doesn’t fix the <4MB/s drop issue.
Doing the same folder transfer to the same external 3.0 mechanical hard drive gave similar results on par with windows. 260GB folder took about an hour and a half. Again, proper speeds. I found an external SMR drive as well, and it too only took about an hour and 45 minutes. Pretty darn good.
Way better than 54 hours or longer. 
It may not be a kernel bug, but it definitely is something that persists across distros.
So, to rules things out:
it’s not the filesystem,
it’s not thermals/error correction,
it’s not a hardware limitation,
it’s not usb devices interfering with each other’s bus communication
it’s not the type of storage medium,
it’s not out of date firmware,
it’s not old hardware,
it’s not the dirty bytes,
it’s not settings I’ve changed (haven’t changed any, it’s a liveISO)
it’s not “windows has proprietary magic,”
benchmarking a particular speed doesn’t mean the slowdown won’t happen,
and best of all it can be tested and verified using real world tests such as large folder transfers.
Whatever FerenOS is doing different is beyond me, but that’s where a clue might be hiding. Thanks again everyone and sorry for the frustration. 
@Xephon was correct, it does affect certain users and has been lurking under the radar for years. After extensive testing, I can conclusively say whatever is causing it still exists as I remembered it and should be reported to whoever needs to know.