I have not tested with wayland, essentially because I couldn’t figure out how to do it with xfce and lightdm.
Following the suggestion here I ran this:
rm .config/xfce4/xfconf/xfce-perchannel-xml/xfwm4.xml
The next two attempts it has woken up normally. I’ll update in the future whether this is really a fix.
(BTW, I’m running an RTX 3070 Ti, in case it matters.)
An additional piece of information is that I’m fairly certain when it fails to wake up properly I get the following line in my ~/.xsession-errors file.
(pamac-tray:1584): Gdk-CRITICAL **: 16:57:40.753: gdk_window_thaw_toplevel_updates: assertion ‘window->update_and_descendants_freeze_count > 0’ failed
The problem is back, so removing xfwm4.xml didn’t fix it.