Welcome to the forum!
VLC and VirtualBox are Qt-based applications, while XFCE is based upon the GTK widget toolkit.
Make sure that you have qt5ct
and kvantum-qt5
installed ─ they’re both in the main repository if they’re not on your system already ─and then you can tweak the look & feel of Qt-based applications.
kvantum-qt5
─ listed in your menu as Kvantum Manager ─ is a theme engine based upon scalable vector graphics, in which you can load special Kvantum themes. There are several such themes in the repository, such as kvantum-matcha
, and others can be downloaded from store.kde.org.
Hope this helps.