I did that end then
sudo gtk-update-icon-cache /usr/share/icons/*
logged out and back in, now I have he icons.
Also I found the pacman log, it has the list of everything it thinks it has updated, so I will try and update/reinstall everything manually. I started with wine, suddenly it used all my ram (16gb) and all the swap file I had just in case (8gb) and the pc froze for a few minutes, then it freed the memory and started working again, so I’ll go slow.
Also I got suggested to check this, so I’ll do that.